The Barre Bro Goes to the Be Well Philly Boot Camp 2019

The barre bro may not be very good at barre, but he’s excellent at sitting at tables. He actually sits at a desk professionally. So when tuck barre & yoga decided to participate in Phillymag’s Be Well Philly Boot Camp 2019 and needed someone to table, they turned to the most accomplished desk-sitter on the tuck roster to represent the tuck team – yours truly.

Now when you’re really, really, ridiculously good at something, it’s impolite to show off too much and make others look bad, so here I am in tadasana, also known as standing mountain pose. Most yoga pose names make zero sense, but tadasana makes perfect sense because you’re standing straight up like, “ta da!”

I’m not usually one to toot my own horn, but I was truly in my element at this event. Most of the people in attendance thought they were killing it if they went to one or two 60-minute classes. But what the barre bro accomplished was truly not for the feint of heart – for 4 straight uninterrupted hours, I alternated between circuits of high intensity standing and chair-assisted utkatasana. Meanwhile, my slacker wife Callie taught some barre class that didn’t even last an hour. I mean, they weren’t even standing up! Here they are all laying down in Netflix pose with a glorified rubber band around their legs. Continue reading “The Barre Bro Goes to the Be Well Philly Boot Camp 2019”

Virginia Beach “Mexican” White Sauce and Spicy Fried Chicken Sandwiches

Lately, the barre bro’s been more of a blob bro – skipping barre classes to eat McDonald’s and cook really unhealthy food. And, well, none of that changed this past weekend.

I grew up in Virginia Beach which, if you’re unfamiliar, is a sprawling suburban place with an economy supported mostly by tourism and the Navy. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the Mexican restaurants in the area there serve a peculiar but delicious white sauce that I didn’t realize was unusual for Mexican restaurants, and recently this story about that white sauce has been all over my Facebook.

White sauce

So, remembering how delicious it was, I decided to try making it and see if it was actually delicious like I remembered, or if it was one of those childhood nostalgia things that you realize as a grown-up is actually kind of mediocre (I’m looking at you Famous Dave’s). Continue reading “Virginia Beach “Mexican” White Sauce and Spicy Fried Chicken Sandwiches”

The Barre Bro Goes Low Carb

I’ve been able to keep my yearly weight gain under 2 lbs. a year for most of my twenties and early thirties, but man, something changed in 2018 and I gained over 20 lbs. So, now that it is 2019, I decided that this is the year that I would start experimenting with putting more than mental effort into losing weight. And everyone knows that the best way to lose weight is to eat all of the protein and fat you want, as long as you don’t eat any carbs! Let’s do this!

But first, one last farewell to beloved noodles, in the form of bun bo hue. And if you’re at a Viet joint, you can’t start without some summer rolls –

Then the main course! If you’re not familiar, bun bo hue is a spicier, north Vietnamese noodle soup. It’s like pho with an Infinity gauntlet. Most places in America, you’ll get it “American-style” with normal cuts of meat, which is fine by me. More authentic places will add blood cubes, which I am NOT into. And the super authentic places (where you can’t even read the menu, if there is one) will add ox penis, which I’m definitely not into. Continue reading “The Barre Bro Goes Low Carb”

The Barre Bro Gets (Slightly) Serious Talkin ‘Bout Cultural Appropriation

Callie is away this weekend, which makes the barre bro sad. But, no Callie means there’s no one to stop me from cooking/eating whatever I want! Especially because last weekend, I did the tuck University City double (barre followed by barre bounce), and I have yet to “spend” the calories I burned that day on any extra meals this week. Doing back to backs isn’t normally a barre bro thing, but I did my best (ended up quitting with 10 minutes left in the barre class).

It was a fun pair of classes with lots of regulars, and this jerk of a teacher showing off for the camera. Continue reading “The Barre Bro Gets (Slightly) Serious Talkin ‘Bout Cultural Appropriation”

How to Feed a Barre Teacher Who Wants Bibimbap Three Times a Week, aka, The Barre Bro’s Sunday Meal Prep

Callie’s as good at cooking as the barre bro is at dieting. So, she sucks at it. But, she needs to eat! A lot. And since I can cook a little bit, we’ve started playing this game called “Married Life” where Callie says, “I’m hungry!” whenever she’s hungry. And I’m supposed to respond with, “What do you want?” And then Callie just… orders something, whatever comes to her mind, as if I know how to cook all 874 items on The Cheesecake Factory’s menu.

The Barre Bro’s wife doesn’t eat quite as many calories as Michael Phelps does, but she’s not far behind. With multiple days a week where she teaches doubles (and sometimes even triples), it’s important for the barre bro to keep his wife fed. Mostly because she doesn’t really know how to feed herself.

Unlike the barre bro, who is always thinking at least three meals in advance, Callie lives in the present and doesn’t even think a single meal ahead. If she suddenly gets a hunger pang while in the car, she’ll grab the nearest edible item, and suddenly she’s having an entire pack of tic tac breath mints for lunch. Or, if that hunger pang happens to occur in a candy store, she’ll stuff her face with 2 lbs. of rolos. None of which is conducive to fueling her athlete-level energy expenditure. So, I started meal prepping for her on Sundays! And this past Sunday, I took some pictures to document the process. Warning: this post will have, like, fifty pictures.

Continue reading “How to Feed a Barre Teacher Who Wants Bibimbap Three Times a Week, aka, The Barre Bro’s Sunday Meal Prep”