What’s this bro doing owning a barre studio? Isn’t that like, for girls?


Here’s how it went down. Back in 2008, this bro was really into bro things, like double-meat Chipotle burritos and lifting weights. Then a yoga teacher/personal trainer at his gym noticed how inflexible this bro was and was like “Hey bro, you need to come to my yoga class and stretch, or you’re going to hurt yourself.”


The bro didn’t know anything about yoga, but the yoga teacher was mad cute, so he was like, “Hell yeah, I’ll do some yoga wit your fine ass.”


So this bro starts coming to yoga, and next thing you know, the yoga teacher is all over him! Touching him all the time, claiming his form needs adjustments, all kinds of excuses to be all over the bro.


But the bro took it all in stride because she was the fineness, and kept working on his yoga. Eventually the bro was like, “Girl, I think it’s time we took this to the next level.”

bro marries cals

So they got married and had a bunch of kids dogs.

bro and cals and baby
not our baby at all

That’s not their dogs.

not our baby
also not our baby

Still not their dogs.

best dogs ever

There are the dogs!

But instead of staying a chill yoga girl, yoga girl starts doing barre. Starts loving this barre stuff so much she started opening barre studios in Philly!


Now what’s a bro to do, but support his girl!


So bro and The Fineness start opening barre/yoga studios in Philly. But this meant less time for the bro to lift, and it’s not like he’s going to stop eating…


So bro starts gaining weight. Like, mad weight. 25 lbs. in all, going straight to his cheeks. He starts resembling his pig bro Apollo. And his girl is like, “Bro, you’re gaining weight. And eating way too much. You can’t own health clubs and be chubby. You need to start coming to barre class.”


And that’s how the bro became the barre bro.