Quarantuck Day 3 – The Circle of Barre

Dear readers,

This is an unprecedented time in our country’s history, and we as Americans must come together to face these challenges with every bit of strength we can muster. To that end, we would like to communicate to you the details of our response just kidding, aren’t you SO FUCKING TIRED of emails that start out like this?!?!? As if the non-stop news cycle and death counter weren’t depressing enough. So let’s get this Day 3 post started with the absolute cutest picture you will see today, barre none! (high five?? that was a good one!)

Anyone else feel like those last two days were like two weeks? Over at our house, the three daily livestreamed exercises we’ve been helping put out have become the highlights of our day. At first we thought it would be a lot of work, but then we remembered that real work is having no choice but to save lives or deliver sustenance to everyone else during the fucking plague.

We’ve been taking (or leading) an average of two classes per day, then watching along for the third and clicking the heck out of the heart button. It’s fun watching those hearts float up! Or, if Callie is making us do chair, ahem, clicking the angry faces and making those float up. Why is it even called chair? It should be called chairless.

Annihilate, killing it with Jim. Also, the corpse of Roger, who held one too many planks.

If you’re newer to our barre classes, you may have noticed that our classes are like, really really hard. Also, it may feel like our teachers are sometimes gas-lighting you by telling you that you’re almost done with something, or that something is almost over, or that something is under control, but your body/reality is telling you that it just keeps getting worse, not unlike a White House press conference.

If this sounds familiar, YOU’RE NOT CRAZY. No, that would be our barre teachers. That’s why they have American Gladiator-esque aliases like Chernobyl Kate, Annihilate, and Molly Misery (who will be leading an uncharacteristically gentle yoga class today at 12:15pm!).

My wonderful wife Callie has actually created a barre teacher training program, and I was able to break into her secret vault like Wikileaks and get a sneak peek into the training manual. And what I found will SHOCK YOU. Here is a page called, “The Circle of Barre”

And there you have it. It’s a never-ending circle of tricking you into thinking that you’re almost done, and the next thing you know, your body has been pushed past the limit repeatedly, and although you feel terrible, you come out stronger, well, if you come out at all. Because again, it’s a closed-loop system. You know, scientifically speaking.

In other news, here’s my work-from-home setup –

Here’s my awesome family when I take a break

And here’s what happens when barre from home goes wrong…

By the way, we always tell our friends with zero or one or two dogs, “Get another one! You won’t regret it!” And they’re all like, no, we have enough, or no, I won’t have time. I hope you guys are rethinking your life choices – quarantine is so much better with MOAR DOGS.


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