Hello friends! Long time. I’ve been busy with a Russian squat routine that isn’t very compatible with barre.
But, I haven’t neglected yoga! And I’d like to share why, precisely, I HATE my wife’s classes.
Two words: FAKE EMPATHY. She does this in yoga, and she reaaallly does it in barre.
What do I mean? Next time you’re in a barre class and you hear Callie says, “Ugh, I know it sucks guys…we’re almost done” just remember, she’s the one making it suck! She’s trying to be empathetic, but she might as well be Daenerys Targaryen riding a dragon telling her enemies, “I know it’s warm guys…you’re almost well done”
What’s even worse is when she makes fake effort sounds. We all know barre is tough. If you’ve ever taken a class with Molly, you know she makes involuntary sounds of suffering all the time. But sometimes, Callie will fake these exact same sounds… when she’s not even doing the exercise with you guys! Seriously, keep an eye on her next time she makes one of these fake sounds of effort. She’s usually just walking around the room, exuding fake empathy.
Recently, I’ve noticed she does it in yoga too! We’ll be in some uncomfortable position that shreds your hamstrings like spiralized zucchini, and she’ll let out an “Ughh….” but when I look over, she’s actually on her phone ordering sweet potato fries from Grubhub.
Not only that, she trains our teachers to fake it too! Here she is telling them, “Make them believe you’re right there with them! Even if you’re not!”
Moral of the story? Don’t believe her lies!! Sorry I don’t have many pictures for this post, so here are pictures of some t-shirt ideas. And one of Bodie.
the barre bro 