The Barre Bro Announces a Yoga Workshop!

The Barre Bro isn’t a licensed yoga teacher, but that doesn’t mean he’s not qualified to teach a workshop, especially in a niche aspect of yoga that almost everyone struggles with, but for various reasons, few people talk about. So what is this aspect of yoga? Yogas. Not pronounced like the plural of yoga, but pronounced like “yo, gas” and referring to the fact that almost everyone experiences gas during a yoga class.

Now the barre bro’s been moving to a more plant-based diet and broccoli and cabbage are two of his favorite vegetables. Unfortunately for his wife, this healthier diet, while good for almost everything else in life, is quite bad for the olfactory senses at the Kim house. To make matters even worse, the barre bro likes to down a 32 oz. Big Gulp diet coke before most of his morning yoga classes (which, a bit unfairly, draws some side-eyes – hey, you have your coffee, I have my diet coke).

All of these factors have made the barre bro a veritable expert in holding in gas during yoga classes. He may in fact be the first master trainer in the yoga world at dealing with yogas. So, not wanting to selfishly hoard this valuable knowledge to himself, the barre bro has decided to run a Yogas Workshop so he can share his expertise with the wider world! Here is a little preview of what you can look forward to in the workshop (get ready for some serious science).

To truly appreciate and benefit from this workshop, it is imperative to have a strong foundation in human anatomy. Yogas doesn’t simply exist – it exists in one of two places – the upper chamber, depicted in green, or the lower chamber, depicted in red. The upper chamber is the “safe” area for yogas, where you know it’s there, but there’s no immediate risk of discharge. But the lower chamber? This is the danger zone. There, even experienced yogasi have a maximum of 90% control over what happens, not unlike your eyelids after an all-nighter.

Now, why does yoga have a reputation for causing so many farts? With our anatomical knowledge in hand, we must venture into the world of physics.

Here is a downward dog, one of the most common yoga poses in existence. As you can see in the diagram, this pose places the “lower” chamber (the danger chamber) ABOVE the “upper” chamber (the safer chamber). Why is this a problem? Because your body is mostly water, and gas is lighter than water, causing it to rise like a hot air balloon when surrounded by mostly water. So naturally, this pose will often force yogas upwards into the danger chamber. But this is only the second worst yoga pose for causing yogas – the worst?

Child’s pose. Child’s pose often occurs immediately after downward dog, and the two combine for a truly deadly yogas sequence. Not only is yogas more likely to already be in the danger chamber, child’s pose has the additional feature of providing yogas with an irresistible exit point.

So, how do we combat the effects of this deadly sequence? Fret not – the barre bro is here for you. The best pose to mitigate yogas is…

Upward facing dog. Not only does this position close off that exit point, it realigns the chambers in the upright position so that yogas can move from the danger chamber to the safety chamber.

Interested in learning more? Sign up for this valuable workshop at this link!

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